Get Over It!

It's Christmas!

By Terry J. Ward

OK, all you Christmas tyrants, you can just turn right around this minute and back outta this article. This is not for you. Go spread your "joy" somewhere else. This is for all of us that are what I like to call, the "grump brigade." Yeah, that's right, we're the ones that you guys pick on - but not today, and, not on my turf.

I don't know about you, but this ain't exactly "ho-ho-ho" and "deck your halls" time for me. What Hollywood and Madison Avenue would have you believe is Christmas, is not my experience of the phenomena. Let's be right up front with this. I'm all for being happy about Christ's birth. I'm grateful that God saw fit to give this ultimate gift of love to me. However, this does not seem to be what "the holidays" are chiefly about. (Need I reference the Christmas decorations that are up before Thanksgiving?) And I don't think I'm alone in this sentiment. For me, like a lot of people, the time between the great day of gluttony and January 2, when normalcy returns, is a time that I dread. So with that in mind, and the true spirit of giving in my heart, let me share with my fellow sufferers some of my helpful hints for making it through.

Number one, first and foremost, remind yourself, it's only thirty days. You can do it. A normal life will return. No one will expect you to be Cheerful!! (Don't forget that high, squeaky inflection to your voice when you say "cheerful") after January 2.

Don't spend money you can't afford. End the conspiracy!!! Besides, if someone thinks less of you because you spend less on them, where are their priorities? Same goes for buying presents for people you really don't care about. Don't do it!! End the guilt tyranny. Now.

Get out of the house. I don't care if you drive around the block fifty times. Don't stay cooped up in your cave. Believe me, you'll feel better.

There's a new James Bond movie out - go see it. And if you have to, see it again and again. (Three bucks, matinee, Tioga Theatre - for sanity's sake, yes, you can afford it.) Although this does serve the purpose of getting you out of the house and amused for several hours, there is one little hitch - you will want James Bond for Christmas (not the movie, him). I guess you'll have to work that one out with your shrink. But, after all, this is the season of hope . . . !

Do not look at your weight. Promise yourself. This is not the time for a clear-headed appraisal of your looks, or lack thereof. Slap on red lipstick, bleach your hair, do something fun and daring for yourself, but do not be critical.

Forgive yourself. You're not Martha Stewart. Be glad. (Her husband cracked under strain and ran off with her assistant - moral of the story, the ability to spend twenty hours making perfect hazelnut candle holders to go on the perfect mantle of your perfect house does not make for a happy home.) So be a little sloppy. Your friends will thank you for not making them feel inadequate. Call them. Share a pizza or a game of cards. Money and perfectionism do not make friends. But it can lose them for you.

Most importantly, do something nice for somebody. Volunteer somewhere. Talk to a lonely neighbor Visit a mom stuck in the house with small kids. Smile at the kid in McDonald's when he slops soda on your hand. Leave two bucks on a park bench and ask God to give it to the right person. Get out of yourself and give to someone else.

If I'm not mistaken, I think that's what this season is supposed to be about, isn't it? I hope you have a good holiday. And remember, you deserve to have a little happiness this season, too.