Car Keys
by Ron Craig

I have a subject I want to pick on today that gets under everyone's skin at one time or another and that is advertising. How many times have you been watching a good mystery and the case is almost solved when you are left in suspense because there is a commercial break? It makes you want to throw something at the television but it's not the TV's fault. 

 Some commercials are actually fun to watch when they get creative, like the ones during the Superbowl but most of the time they are annoying. I know that's how the bills are paid and they are a necessity but the timing is always wrong or so it seems. 

 I heard a radio ad that gave me the impression that the advertiser thinks we are generally ignorant. It went something like this, "Save 50% on your New York State inspection! That's half price! That's half the cost of an Inspection!" I don't know about you but I got it the first time. I can do simple math. Would you work for half price? I wouldn't and I don't think you would either unless you could make it up somewhere else. Enough said on that. 

 There is another one that really bugs me and that's the one where you send someone $50 and they name a star after you. Wow! My very own star! And I don't even have to pay any taxes on it!

 It just so happens that I have a better deal. For those of you who buy stars, send me $25 and I will name one of my dandelions that grow in my yard after you. I will even pick it and send it to you. At least you can actually see it and touch it. 

 Twenty-Five dollars! That's half the price of a star! 

 That's 50% less!  

 How about a "free" credit report? All you have to do is buy a membership. So where does the "free" fit in? Then there's the exercise machines. They all promise to make you look like a model in 30 days. When you read the fine print, it also says with proper nutrition and a diet low in carbs and calories. If we all ate a proper diet, most of us wouldn't need the machine in the first place! I have an exercise machine. I burn more calories cleaning the dust off of it. 

 How about the new car dealers? If you go to their lot, they will give you a hot dog and a soda and maybe a balloon. Then you get to give them anywhere from$5,000 up to $40,000 or more for a vehicle. I hope that hot dog tasted real good! When I see the prices of new cars, I actually lose my appetite! I think cars should be sold like groceries. Put them on display, mark your best price, and let the customer pick the best deal. If the dealer down the street beats the price by a few hundred or 
thousand, then he wins. Sounds simple to me. 

 I hope I have made my point. Talk is cheap but do your homework and beware. 

 And by the way, my dandelion sale will be half price in May due to overstock. Be safe and have a happy October!