Annie's Corner
Spoiling Generation
By Anne O. Stout 

Back working with children again it is becoming clear to me in our fast paced, everyone must work world we are spoiling our children. Don't get me wrong, I am not passing judgment as I am guilty of doing the exact thing, but it is a concern. I mean no parent starts out with this goal in mind but circumstances kind of lead us down the path. First of all we start out thinking, as did our parent's generation that we will make things better for our children then we had it, then we try making up for the lack of time with them with gifts. Have you noticed in today's society the most popular children's items are those toys or gadgets that the child can entertain himself or herself with alone? Like the ever popular hand held games which their friends can only watch them play over your child's shoulder. 

 There are the movies we can pop into our VCR or DVD player to keep our children entertained while we do housework, work on the bills, or whatever. How often do you watch a movie with your child or children?  Again I am not judging just putting the question out there, I am guilty of putting on the latest cartoon by Disney and walking away to wash dishes or some other boring but important task. 

 I shudder at the thought of what our children are getting from the Internet. It is a great place for information but it is also full of computer stalkers, and I know many a teenager who goes home and after homework spends their evenings talking to total strangers on-line but hardly ever communicating with their family. 

 As a result of all these things I have mentioned and so many more we now have a group of children, pre-teen age that feel they shouldn't have to do anything they don't want to. For instance try to get a group this age to play a sport together, for fun, not in gym class where it is enforced but just a group in a neighborhood and half won't want to so don't. "If I don't want to, I don't have to!" is their motto. I mean the concepts of compromise, majority decides, what fun it could be doesn't even enter their minds. 

 Some will make suggestions for the group and if it is voted down, they choose not to participate and sit in a perpetual pout. Now as a child I may have been guilty of that, and I know my kids who are pretty much adults now did as well but not for hours. How do these kids stay pouting for so long?  I used to get bored with it real fast; I mean it definitely is not exciting or fun. Sitting, sulking, frowning, being quiet, and sometimes even crying; they prefer this over joining in and maybe having fun; I can't explain it. 

 I also see a lot of anger, anger that they are not where they want to be, nasty to others when they do join in, and very bossy, telling others how to do things; not guidance, bossing. We have neglected to teach the lesson of making the best of a situation; it is an important lesson for life as adults end of facing many less then pleasant situations. 

 Saw an interesting idea in a parental magazine recently, try for one week keeping track of every time your child or children throw a tantrum or pout and you might be surprised. Do we need to teach them better life skills?  I only have one still left in high school but I am working on him.