I am going to stray from the topic of anything automotive this month. Since the events on September 11, there has been a lot on the minds of all Americans such as the war against terrorism in the United States. 

 The first name that comes to mind when terrorism is mentioned is Osama Bin Laden. I don't know if he will ever be captured alive, and if he is, I can't say in public what I would like to do to him as punishment for his actions. The vigilantes would love me and the conservatives would hang me so I will keep that thought to myself. However I did come up with a list of things that could be done to him before the Feds have their way with him. This is a list of punishments that are still way too easy on him, but it's a start.

 1. Make him write "I love George Bush" a thousand times.

 2. Make him play Bingo with a room full of irate women who find out his bingo cards are fixed.

 3. Put him in a room with a loud stereo system and play Tiny Tim's music over and over, especially Tiptoe Through The Tulips.

 4. Throw him through the front door of a biker bar wearing a robe that says Harleys Stink.

 5. Force him to sit in on a Village of Endicott board meeting (that would make anyone crazy).

 6. Put a deer suit with nice antlers on him and send him into the state game lands.

 7. Tie him up in front of the Johnson City-Vestal joint sewage treatment plant during July and August. (If the smell doesn't get him, maybe he will be mistaken for solid waste.)

 8. Put fleas in his beard. Ones with big teeth. (They may feel at home there.) 

 9. Pour honey on him and throw him in the bear den at the Ross Park Zoo.

 10. Disregard # 9. The bears may get sick if they eat him. Even bears have standards.

 When I was thinking about this list, it was very hard not to list some GOOD ideas, but after all, this is a family publication. 

 I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Let's hope for peace in 2002, not only here at home, but all over the world. I know the odds are against it, but an optimistic attitude is a good place to start.