Annie's Corner

 No laughter, only tears in Annie's Corner this time, after the devastating news Americans received last month. For days I walked around in a fog, watching any television as often as I could, secretly hoping the whole tragedy would turn out to be just a nightmare and go away. 

 A lump came in my throat when I watched the towers of the World Trade Center collapse, and I noticed bodies jumping from the windows. My memory took me back to the first time I saw the towers, at the tender age of 17. I had the privilege to go up 103 stories to the observation deck and have lunch, then ride up escalators for three more floors and emerge on the roof. Awestruck does not even begin to describe the image before me, fear even filled me as I walked around the walkway and felt the massive building sway slightly in the wind. 

 The towers are now gone, and I cry every time I think about the number of lives cut short, and lost in the mountainous piles of rubble. I listen to the radio, watch the television, and read every newspaper and magazine I can get my hands on to learn more about these victims. It may sound silly, but I feel getting to know them in a small way will show some respect. I cry for the families trying to keep their hopes up that their loved one will be found alive somehow. 

 A lot of the students at the school where I work voice their opinion that we need revenge, and we should go to war, but I look at these young people and wonder if they do not realize how much a decision to go to war could affect their lives. If we do go to war, how long will it last?  President Bush has already stated it will not be a quick war, and to try and stop terrorists will take even longer. A noble idea, but is it feasible?

 When talk of war comes up, I sit silent and listen, not really wanting to think about it. Like most Americans I am angry and want to see justice done and those responsible punished. But war - as the mother of three teenage sons, that scares me. 

 The attack on the Pentagon was even more shocking to me as I guess I always thought the security at the nation's capital could not be broken through, no matter how it was tried. And as for the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania - and they think it did so thanks to the passengers fighting back the hijackers - what must have been going through their minds? And the people who received the cell phone calls from their loved ones about to become a victim, what does one say?  If I was faced with death and only had a few moments whom would I call, and what would I say? "I love you" and "good-bye" just would not cover it. 

 The future seems a little uneasy, and I hear parents assuring children that they are safe but not with the certainty that Americans once had. We must wonder if we as a world power have gotten too confident, too arrogant that we are untouchable and no one would dare to harm us. Is this our awakening? A friend of mine referred to the US as being an adolescent, we are only a little over 200, and this is a hard lesson that may help us develop into adults. 

 At this point all I can do is help in small ways and mourn, mourn for those lost, mourn for the changes that are bound to occur in our daily lives, and mourn for our futures and what may happen. I fear it is going to get worse before it gets better, and I pray our leaders do not react until they are sure of their actions. 

 Americans will heal and  persevere with help from each other.