1. Defy them, write nasty letters, then they will sell you out, make you a street person, a member of the sub culture. But the satisfaction will be yours. With nothing in assets, from here on you are tax free, an enviable state only available to millionaires and paupers. In my book, more details can

be found in the chapter called The Martyr Plan.

2. Call them up. Tell the agent you have discovered your real self, you are

not the person they think you are, but Napoleon Bonaparte, not to be trifled with. Then hang up. Ultimately you will get free room and board in some kind of institution, and be tax free for the rest of your life. More on this is in the chapter The Royal Shaft.

3. Send them a notice of address change. Give them Zurich, Switzerland, or Holland, or The Tin Can Island in the South Pacific. Naturally you won't be at any of these places, so the IRS notices will be returned. You will have disappeared, puff, gone! Of course, if you are getting retirement checks, a pension, and social security, these, too, will disappear. So what, a small price to pay for your revenge on the IRS. Instead of telling them to drop dead, they will think it happened to you. Scratch one taxpayer.

4. And, for sure, there are many other ways to avoid payment, such as visiting Iraq and insulting Saddam Hussein. You'll never again have to worry about filing a return. Or you can join some Cubans attempting to flee Cuba, and tell them the down side of reaching the promised land. You know how it is, about killing the messenger who brings bad news. They will free you from your worries, then climb into their rickety boat, praying for your soul as well as theirs.

5. I could go on. But why give all my secrets away. Just hand me money under the table and I'11 tell you a sure fire scheme, never recently tried. It entails going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, when the rocks at the bottom are exposed. You'll find this in the chapter A Smashing Good Idea.